You're either a confident person or you're not right?

Confidence seems to be the topic of the moment. Many people I am talking too are experiencing a dip in confidence for many reasons. Some include:

  • Something has gone wrong at work leaving them feeling that they have failed and are "not good enough"

  • They find themselves questioning whether they are in the right job but lack the confidence to step away from what they know

  • They know that they need to have "a conversation" and keep putting it off as they don't want to rock the boat

  • The fact that lockdown is slightly easing and the thought of returning to "a previous life" fills them with uncertainty.

Common myths about confidence are that you are either a confident person or you are not i.e. it is innate, or, you can fake it til you make it. Neither are true!


By learning and practising, by taking action, you can develop your confidence. I remember when I learnt to ski I was terrified of falling over and breaking something so I approached the whole thing very tentatively convinced that I would never be able to do it. Afterall I was not really a sporty person so that was ok wasn't it? I feigned illness on the 3rd day just so I wouldn't have to go to the lesson. The rest of the group came back after the lesson full of stories, funny mishaps but enjoying the process and recognising they were getting better. So then my next fear kicked in - FOMO (fear of missing out) - I didn't want to get left behind! I psyched myself up to return to lessons for the rest of the week and came away with a silver medal in the beginner's slalom race, not bad for someone who isn't sporty heh?


So, why am I telling you all this? Well since then I have learnt much more about psychology and our humaness. I now recognise that my reptilian brain was feeding me lots of lines to limit me stepping out of my comfort zone and to keep me safe. It still does but I've learnt how to handle them. I am also far more aware of my values and what's important to me i.e. the need to feel part of something and to achieve.



If you are experiencing a dip in confidence at the moment try the following:


1. Understand what you brain is telling you i.e. what are you thoughts about this situation


2. Explore where those thoughts may have come from - past experiences perhaps, labels about yourself that you have accumulated over the years or perhaps the media and/or your friends would have you believe something


3. Discover your values and what is important to you in life. How might these be the catalyst for taking the first steps to renewed confidence


4. What does your head, heart and gut say?


5. Take action! Confidence is like a muscle and needs exercising to become stronger.


Confidence is just one of the behaviours I can help you develop. Book your "ambitions and transitions" free initial consultation here and find out how

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